maychorian: (stories with SamnDean)
You've spoiled me for other fandoms. You're so big and beautiful and full of goodfic. I have very little patience for badfic now. I used to be able to read anything as long as there was cuddling in it somewhere. Now I can't. :( I've clicked out of so many fics lately.

Someone point me to the goodfic H50 hurt!Danny please.

Good Lord, I'm predictable...


Jul. 1st, 2011 01:04 am
maychorian: (wee!Sam *glee*)
Last week, I recorded a podcast with my good friends Nick and Tim, and when I came back from a night of playing geeky games, I found that it's been posted!

Derailed Trains of Thought Episode 14

Their podcast, Derailed Trains of Thought, is all about stories, and they asked me to be a guest to talk about fandom. It was a really fun talk, extremely geeky. I talked about all my fandoms, but mostly Supernatural. The guys talked about Muppets and Lost and other stuff. Great fun. Give it a listen and let me know if you think I did it justice. I even read a little crossover commentfic at one point, if you want to check that out.

One thing I do want to clarify... At one point I said, in response to a question, that if you want to be a serious writer you have to be careful with fandom because of how involved in it you can get, to the point of neglecting your original work. I should have said "commercial writer," not "serious writer," because I know there are plenty of serious writers who don't want to write anything but fanfic, and there's nothing wrong with that. (I think I was pretty clear about that, in another part of the discussion.)

I've met so many truly fantastic writers through fandom, so many wonderful people, and I really wouldn't have it any other way. This interview was really off the cuff, just a talk between friends, and there are things I wish I could add and clarify, but I hope that my feelings of appreciation and love for fandom came across, anyway.

(And if any of you want to do some art of Kermit and a pirate captain and send it to them, that would be great. :D)
maychorian: (Dean wake up)
O hay, gaiz! [ profile] sharp_teeth is back!

A gen-oriented, horror-themed comment meme
[Click on the image to go to the meme.]
Banner courtesy of [ profile] animotus

If you don't remember or don't know, this is a gen-oriented multi-fandom horror comment meme, and it is teh ossums! I would in particular like to direct your attention to this:

Watch for the Greenwitch by [ profile] fulselden
The offering to the Greenwitch always looks tangled and cold. Jane is cold, too.
ensemble - T Warning: bad things happen to Jane in this story, without her consent.

OMG, guys, The Dark Is Rising! ::flails:: BOOKS, not ineffectually awful kid-movie-abomination-thing. That series was such a cool part of my childhood. And this take on the Greenwitch stuff is awesome and awful in all the best ways. READ IT READ IT.

And if you are a writer or a reader, oh please, go look at the sixteen pages of prompts (and counting)! There are many, many fandoms, though it is somewhat skewed toward SPN, since the creators and many of the participants are active in that fandom.

::shoos you off:: Go have fun playing in the dark! Don't come back until you're at least a little bloody!


Sep. 3rd, 2010 10:31 am
maychorian: (Dean wake up)
My back thing, bug bite, Lyme disease or-whatever-it-is seems to be back and causing more trouble. I've just been so horribly exhausted lately, sleeping too long and having a really hard time waking up, and yesterday I had this really strange and disconcerting period of numbness and cold in my arms and legs. From what I read, Lyme's disease can take several rounds of antibiotics to knock out, so I've seen the doctor and gotten another prescription, plus for some Prenizone for the rash, which still hasn't gone away.

I'm just so tired lately. It sucks. I want to write. I have ideas, I had things I wanted to write for my castielfest prompts, but we had spotty internet for a few days and the next thing I knew, it was too late. (Someone pinch-hit for me and did a marvelous job, though.) Maybe I'll do the prompts later, if it's okay with my should-have-been recipient. I want to write, I want to participate and rec and talk and discuss, but I'm just utterly drained.

I've been watching a lot of TV, because that doesn't take much energy. Burn Notice is fantastic, in case you ever wondered. I also watched everything that's available of another USA show, Royal Pains, and now I understand why people like hospital shows--it's televised H/C! Definitely the fluffiest and least deep of the shows I've been watching, but it's like candy to me and I can't wait for the next episode to air so I can grab it. I've kept up with Psych, Leverage, and White Collar. I also have almost finished the first season of Mad Men, which is amazing, but also rather awful (the culture is so poisonous, I just don't understand how anyone could have lived like that). And I've started on Fringe, too. Walter and Peter are pretty damn adorable and Olivia is among the more heart-breakingly amazing women I've ever come across.

Of the new shows I've started watching, though, Burn Notice is definitely my favorite. Something has finally finally gotten my obtuse little gen-goggled heart to ship something--Michael/Fiona, man, I am all about Michael/Fiona. It helps that they are both fantastic, fun, well-rounded characters who are clearly perfect for each other, and their reasons for not being together (or being together, off and on) aren't annoying and stupid like most TV UST. (Hank/Jill on Royal Pains, I'm looking at you. You're BORING.)

I also ship the Winchester Impala and the Westen Charger. They would make sweet, sweet glossy black love and have beautiful and powerful car-babies, I have no doubt.

Okay, I have to drag my butt out of my bed and go work for a few hours. I want to make a rec post later, though. I've read some awesome stuff lately.
maychorian: (big bang '10)
My Big Bang icon has never been so appropriate.

I know a lot of people are tired of hearing about this. But I haven't stopped thinking about it. And so I'm going to say even more about fandom and how we talk about things like the latest unfunny business. If you're not interested, please do scroll on by.

Here's the thing: I keep being struck, over and over again, by how very different this discussion is than the last one. Last time it was about someone in fandom making bone-headed statements about sexual assault, blaming the victims, and continuing and continuing to NOT GET why that was offensive. This time it was about someone in fandom making a bone-headed story full of unconscious racism, and so on, same thing. Similar circumstances, different issues. And the biggest difference was not in the form of the bone-headedness or the non-apology apologies afterward, but in the way fandom reacted to the two separate incidents. Or rather, reacted to the reaction.

In both cases, there was a little mud-slinging at the beginning, but then people settled down to talking about it seriously. In both cases, some people didn't get what the problem was, especially those who were in a position to never have to deal with the issues at hand. In both cases, the instigators' friends stuck up for them in varying degrees of ferociousness. And that's where things start not being quite so analogous.

When people understood the facts of the victim-blaming business, almost everyone backed down. I saw SO MANY people change their minds about whether or not this was okay. It was incredibly heartening, as a victim of sexual assault myself, to see so many people who got it, who were on my side, who looked at the facts objectively and agreed with me that "This is not okay." I had never been more proud of my flist and my fandom. Sure, there were the rare exceptions, but everyone I knew and respected was with me.

Do you remember? I wrote a post about it. I was very angry. I used bad words. I allowed no room for dissent. I told the person who had said the hurtful things to STFD and STFU (mostly because she had used that language herself, but even if she hadn't I might have used it anyway).

No one told me to watch my tone. No one told me that even though I had a right to be angry, I still shouldn't talk like that. No one said that because she hadn't meant to be so hurtful, I should be more understanding and forgiving. No one was worried about her feelings (with maybe one exception, and at least if they did they didn't respond to my post). The comments I got were overwhelmingly positive and supportive of me and my pain.

I'd like to think that if I was a person of color who had been hurt by the latest business and chose to post about it, the responses would have been similar. But I don't know, you guys. This is making me doubt.

This time we had all kinds of derailing going on. And the tone argument came up again and again and again and again. People didn't want to educate themselves. Many, many folks were (and are) more concerned with their own comfort level than the comfort level of people who are vulnerable to hurt.

What makes the difference? I keep thinking about it. Why were these two situations with similar beginnings, similar middles, similar ends, and in the SAME GROUP OF PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET so, so different?

And what I've got is that fandom is a female-dominated space, which is why the first time worked out all right. But it's also a white-dominated space, like just about everything is most spaces are in the English-speaking world (edited for poor wording). And so this happens.

That means we have problems, you guys. Fandom has problems. We all have problems. We need to work to fix them. If some kinds of reactions (derailing, tone argument, "but what about their feelings," "you're ruining the fandom with your pain and rage") aren't okay in relation to sexism and rape culture, then they're not okay in relation to racism and privilege, either.

Here's [ profile] poisontaster on comfort in fandom, and [ profile] musesfool on the same thing, and also dotfic too.

To [ profile] dotfic, after my usual round of cogitating, I said:

I think maybe feeling safe is a part of our privilege. When people don't speak about these things, those of us who are privileged not to have to think about race and racism, who don't have to watch out every freaking moment of every freaking day for things that might hurt us...well, our path is smooth sailing. Fandom is groovy and cool and there's no risk of the discomfort of having to be aware of racism. But while that's happening, fandom is certainly not safe for those who do have think about it. Who don't have that privilege of never being offended. Wow, that kind of fandom is unsafe for them.

So now, as in that link you gave ash48 from a Korean who feels safer now that privilege is being threatened, things are a little different. Now it's not such easy, smooth sailing for the privileged. Now we have to think. Now we have to be aware that we might be accused of being racist, and those accusations might be right. That's not comfortable, so we are not assured of complete comfort anymore. OUR PRIVILEGE IS GOING AWAY OH NOES.

But by God, I think that's a good thing.

I want us all to have the privilege of "feeling safe." And like poisontaster said, if some us aren't feeling safe, then none of us should.

So yeah, no, I don't feel quite as "safe" as I might like. But it's okay. I'll deal.

Fandom, I love you. But this is still not okay.

not guilty

Jun. 19th, 2010 11:58 am
maychorian: (Castiel longing)
Rambly Disclaimer: I have seen this come up in multiple places, so this post is not aimed at any single person and please don't think that it is. If I don't comment to a lot of posts, sometimes it means that I've been reading and listening more than I've been talking or responding, because sometimes that's how I need to let my brain work. I've been reading a LOT over the past few days and not commenting much at all, so I apologize if I appear to have been silent anywhere, if you saw me on your My Guest list and I didn't say something about your serious post, anything like that. A lot of times when I go through these periods of listening and thinking I end up writing a post like this in order to articulate my thoughts in general, instead of responding to particular ideas and thoughts elsewhere. And sometimes I don't even post, but just keep thinking and cogitating and trying to understand.

But I do want to make this clear. None of what I have said in my journal or elsewhere has been motivated by guilt. Unless, of course, I am apologizing for a specific offense that I have made, I don't post or comment or speak out on these issues out of any sense of guilt.

When I apologized to my flist for the offense my favorite show gave in the episode "Hammer of the Gods", I did not feel guilty. I was not the one who wrote that episode, produced it, acted it, aired it. There was no reason for me to feel guilty. I was sorry that some of my friends had been hurt and offended by my show. I was sorry that I was in a privileged position where I did not feel offended, because privilege is a problem that we all have to deal with, whether we have it or not. I regretted that my friends were hurt and insulted. But I did not feel guilty.

It's funny how the idea of guilt often comes up in discussions like these. People speak disparagingly of "white guilt," as if that is all that is motivating white people to talk about racism. And I guess I could see the reason for that, if guilt really was the only motivation. Guilt implies a focus on self, that the "guilty" parties feel bad about themselves for whatever reason and are only speaking or posting or commenting in an effort to make themselves feel better, to get "cookies," approval, pats on the head. I can see how that would be off-putting, and I'm sure it happens. I can't see into anyone's hearts, though, so I can't say who is speaking out of guilt or not. I know you can't see into my heart, either.

So again, let me make this very, very clear. I have not chosen to talk about racism on my Livejournal because I feel guilty. I am aware of my privilege now in ways that I never was before, and I despise what it does to my nation, my community, my friends. But I do not feel guilty and this is not about me.

I also have not chosen to talk about this here because I enjoy making a fuss--nothing of the sort. I hate conflict in real life and everywhere--it literally makes me sick to my stomach. I spent most of yesterday feeling sick and dizzy over my last post, though I don't regret making it, and the comments there were polite and civilized. I just hate conflict THAT MUCH. From the time I first started posting here on Livejournal, this was meant to be my happy place. I've never been a wanker and I never wanted to bring that here.

This is not wank. Wank is silly and inconsequential and often hilarious to those who don't have my problems with conflict. (Even wank makes me sick to my stomach sometimes.) Wank is people complaining about the D/C Big Bang or going on ad nauseum about how Sam is better than Dean (or vice versa) or constructing ludicrous theories about how Castiel is ruining everything, everywhere, forever. This is not wank. This is serious business. It's deeply unfunny and not the least bit entertaining and it isn't fun at all.

So when I choose to bring SRS BSNS to this journal, it's because it's something that I feel very, very strongly about. When I ranted about the doctor who made me feel worthless for being fat. When I ranted about how victims of sexual assault should not be forced to break their anonymity. When I apologized for "Hammer of the Gods," even though it was not really my place to apologize. When I reposted comments about how the feelings of victims of racism deserve more consideration and respect than the feelings of people who commit an act of racism. All of these things are important to me and I felt like I HAD to say them.

Perhaps...perhaps I would have felt guilty if I had not said these things. Because if I had not spoken up on an issue that concerned me, that roused my emotions, that forced me to use my voice usually kept so quiet in the dark, I would have been denying a part of myself and my beliefs. And I have never done that here. But as it is, I feel no guilt.

Thank you for reading this. It's important to me and I felt a need to say it, and I'm always glad to know that someone is listening.
maychorian: (Sam Dean reach out)
My Padfoot, aka [ profile] limegreenjillo, is pretty much the most awesome person ever. When I arrived at her place for RPG tonight she presented me with two mix CDs. One is for Coming Down on a Sunny Day, titled "Far to Go," and the other was a general, "Cheer up, my Moony!" mix called "We All Shine On" because I have been very, very sad lately. She got our mutual friend Katie to do graphics for the first one and did papercraft awesomeness herself for the second.



Like I said, awesome.

We also had some good time playing a d20 modern campaign in a setting called Darwin's World, which is all post-apocalyptic and stuff. We're playing sisters kinda like those two girls in Zombieland. She's the strong hero in her early twenties with the big sword and I'm the crazy thirteen-year-old with a crossbow and a soon-to-be symbiotic relationship with my mutated ostrich mount pet thing. It's good stuff.

Oh, and the latest unfunny business in SPN fandom? So not cool. Some of my flisters who have good thoughts on it are july-july-july, schmevil, and 22by7. I also read a post of excerpts and just... What. That is some serious, serious lack of thought going on there. And harmless intentions don't trump a harmful reality, folks. I don't care who you are. That crap is WRONG.
maychorian: (last angel standing)
It's the last weekend to sign up for [ profile] castielfest!

You know you want to!


May. 16th, 2010 07:14 am
maychorian: (stories with SamnDean)
Oh, crap. There's like twelve hours left to sign up for [ profile] spn_summergen. Wow. A lot of things have been slipping by me lately.

I also kind of want to sign up for [ profile] castielfest and maybe even [ profile] deancasbigbang (writing gen friendship, of course). Is this a bad idea?
maychorian: (cas - don't hold back)
Okay, I said in my first post about this that I wasn't going to say anything else. I was wrong. I have something else to say. It's only tangentially related to All This Stuff, but it's important to me. At first this whole thing didn't mean that much to me, just Someone Wrong on the Internet, but I've been reading too much again (that curse of curiosity), and now I am angry. SO ANGRY. It's hard to believe. I almost never get angry.

This will be very personal. And triggery. And long. And there will be curse words, because I am just. So. Angry.


Oh, fandom

May. 8th, 2010 12:16 pm
maychorian: (way with words)
This is probably kinda my fault for having a big flist and reading so widely, and I hate wank and never want to get involved, but I've seen some stuff lately that bothers me, so. (Keeping this vague because if you don't know what this is about already, you don't need to know. Don't go looking for this stuff, srsly, it makes your life difficult.)

Listen, you guys, I consider all of you my friends, even if you only friended me for the fic and never comment, that's fine, I still care about you. I see people being worried and upset and taking sides, and I don't like to see my flisters not feeling good about fandom and what happens there. So please, before you take a side and get all up in arms, you should really try to find out all the information you can and not just take it from one source. A private (fan-run!) organization has the right to follow their own policies, and I don't think they've done anything wrong. This is just my perspective, of course, from reading a bunch of posts and following links all the way down the rabbit hole, because I'm too curious for my own good sometimes.

I expect this will all make Fandom Wank sooner or later, so you can probably find the whole story there eventually, if you want to. This is all I have to say about it.
maychorian: (Castiel's charge)
I want to hold a commentfic meme. Is this feasible?

One that I want is a Dean/Castiel or Dean & Castiel schmoop meme (obv. I would be writing the latter, but I don't wanna turn away the slashers because I love you guys). Sam is welcome, too, because I love Sam.

There has also been talk of wanting more BAMF!Cas, which I am not opposed to.

I'm not sure these ideas should be combined. But there it is.

So, if I did this? Would you participate?

I will need someone to make a banner.

[Poll #1542201]
maychorian: (foreign language words)




The rest I don't really care quite as much about. BUT VOTE! VOTE LIKE THE WIND!
maychorian: (Save Our Sammy)
I watched the Marble Hornets YouTube series last night after midnight, which was somewhat unwise of me. CREEEEEPEEEEE. ([ profile] bellatemple and I had an epic flailfest over at her LJ. It was fun.) And now, appropriately, there is this!

A gen-oriented, horror-themed Comment Meme
[Click on the image to go to the meme.]

Banner courtesy of [ profile] dollarchan

I picked an SPN banner, but it's multi-fandom and gen-oriented (meaning pairings are allowed, but should not be the focus of the fic or art or vid), so that's all to the awesome.

Go play!

Then, after you've gotten yourself thoroughly freaked out, head over to the new Sam-hurt community, [ profile] ohsam, and join in their meme!

\o/ You won't regret it!
maychorian: (good work)
Here is a list of things I think you should do:

1. Go to google. Type "find chuck norris." Click "I'm Feeling Lucky." Do not type "find chuck norris i'm feeling lucky" because IT'S NOT THE SAME THING.

2. Watch the Series of Unfortunate Events movie with the commentary with Lemony Snicket. Well, first you should read the books, then watch the movie regular-style. But yes, totally the Lemony Snicket commentary.

3. Throw me some Big Bang recs at [ profile] spngenlove's current rec submission post before I close it.

4. Watch both of OK Go's latest YouTube videos.

5. Check out the check-in post at [ profile] spn_j2_bigbang and get all excited up in here.

7. Vote for somebody in the Fandom Steel Cage Match Preliminaries. I suggest Castiel, because I love him and Dean won last year. But in any case. Vote. (Also Ted Mosby over Barney. PLEASE. Either Parker or Hardison is fine with me, though.)

8. Hug someone today. I find little sisters very suitable for this purpose, but work with what ya got.
maychorian: (OMG EXCITING)
So, I have this problem where sometimes I read things like [ profile] fandomsecrets and fandom_wank, even though this is not generally good for my sanity and general level of good cheer. I keep doing it because the adorable is FREAKIN' adorable (wouldn't have written "Stupid People" without that secret about Cas looking like a pet-begging-kitty), and the wank is so ridiculous that it makes me laugh sometimes. But then there are things sometimes, you know, where people whine about how batshit insane and wanky and misogynistic the SPN fandom is, and that makes me sad (even if sometimes they are sort of true sometimes).

Because, you guys, for real, there are people in this fandom who are amazing. Just...beyond amazing. Incredibly talented, sweet, generous... I mean, I could go on. And on and on and on.

In this particular instance, I'm talking about [ profile] authoressnebula. If you don't know this awesome fantastic person, you are missing out. MISSING OUT.

For several years now she's been writing ficlets for, like, a hundred people every Christmas. A HUNDRED PEOPLE YOU GUISE. I asked for holiday prompts last year from my flist and only got around to like six of them. (I still feel bad about that.) And she wrote 115. ::hands::

The community is [ profile] skynspace, and it is chock full of magic. I've only looked through a few of the Supernatural ficlets, but she wrote for bunches of other fandoms too.

AND OMG THE ONE SHE MADE FOR ME YOU GUYS IT MAKES ME GO ALL FLAILY LIKE THIS. (Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.) Here it is! The only way it could be a more perfect present for me is if it was a real life Castiel standing in my kitchen eating my cookies and making confused faces at me. Because, you know, that would be my perfect present. (And oh, I would feed him cookies. SO MANY COOKIES.)

So yeah. Go. Enjoy the fics. Bask in the glow of [ profile] authoressnebula's astounding talent and generosity and all-around awesomeness.

And then try to tell me that our fandom isn't insanely wonderful.

Mice win!

Nov. 8th, 2009 03:05 pm
maychorian: (sleepy mice)
Awww, The Tale of Teenie Weenie Deanie won a fic award!


Dean totally looks big enough to be a chinchilla, but look how adorable! Awwwww. Banner links to fic, if you can't remember which one it is or you've never read it.
maychorian: (WTF lunch)
Screw you, Jim Norton. "Obese women who blog about ghost stories" are the shit, and I'm proud to be one of them.

But please, ladies, let's not attack this idiot based on what he looks like. It truly does not signify. Even if he was skinny, handsome, successful, rich, hilarious, and genius-level smart (of which it appears that he is none), he would still be the FAILcaptain of the FAILboat about to run into a FAILiceberg and sink to the bottom of the FAILocean where he will be eaten by FAILfish and his substantial body mass converted into FAILnitrogen which will then be used to fertilize fields of FAILcorn which will feed a herd of FAILcows which will be ground up into FAILburgers which will then be pronounced as unfit for consumption by the FDA (being toxic to 99% of the human population as well as cats, dogs, and the majority of land-based rodent species) and dumped back into the ocean to start the cycle anew. That's right, his FAIL is so noxious that it will travel ALL THE WAY UP THE FOOD CHAIN.

Unfunny, bigoted comedians. Yuck and yuck.

::cues up Jim Gaffigan talking about food on her shiny new Roku player::

Hell, yes, I like bacon. Preach it, brother.


Aug. 18th, 2009 12:18 pm
maychorian: (Jared needs genfic!)
[ profile] spngenlove has been in existence for one month today. We have 277 watchers and 213 members. We've posted 27 rec posts with literally hundreds of recs. We've had two commentfic memes so far that have been great fun and produced some wonderful fic. We're on our fifth rec submission post and still going strong. Members have used the comm to discuss characterization and fandom and get to know each other and request betas. We've been able to point the way to gen sites and fic for people who weren't aware of them before, spreading the love to all and sundry.

The future is bright and wide, wide open.

::squiggles with happiness::

It's going so well.

August 2015

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