maychorian: (OMG EXCITING)
After I wrote my big bang and made a soundtrack and posted it and everything...I realized that even though the story was obsessed with candy (to the point that one of my favorite scenes was the one where Sam and Dean sit companionably on a hill and eat Dum-Dums), the soundtrack actually didn't have a SINGLE SONG about candy. This was a clearly a travesty, but at that point it was too late to fix it.

So here. Have a fanmix about candy, just for you. ♥ Lame-ass cover-art is also mine, so free to whomever.


download and track list )


Aug. 22nd, 2009 01:29 pm
maychorian: (lights of home)
Darn it, I think I'm getting sicker. I've had an ear infection for too long and I finally went to the clinic and got a prescription and I've been on it for a whole day now, four doses (generic keflex, good stuff), and yet today I feel WORSE. Headache, sore throat,, me?

So anyway. From the lovely [ profile] pdragon76:

1. Leave me a comment saying anything random, like your favorite lyric to your current favorite song.
2. I respond by asking you five personal questions so I can get to know you better.
3. You will update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and offer to ask someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be asked, you will ask them five questions.

her questions here )


Jul. 2nd, 2009 08:21 am
maychorian: (Wicked Kitty)
I HAS FIGURED OUT HOW TO MAKE HOVER TEXT WORK. So the Big Bang soundtrack page is fixed now. That was bothering me.


when the Amish went shopping they bought Mountain Dew and Pringles, mostly
maychorian: (lights of home)
The Lights of Home
Soundtrack & Picspam


Download .rar from mediafire (75 MB)


The soundtrack is spoilery for the story, so I recommend reading that first, or downloading the music without looking at it. ;)

The picspam is of real-life locations from "The Lights of Home." Hover over the images for text, and click for bigger. These were all taken yesterday, June 29, 2009, just before noon. What a gorgeous day.

Also, I just want to note that I did NOT put that bike on top of the grassy hill. It just happened to be there when I wanted to take a pic, and it was so perfect I squeed in real life.

Pics and lyrics, not dial-up friendly at all )

Prologue & Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 & Epilogue | Warnings & Notes

Soundtrack & Picspam

Art by [ profile] millylicious
maychorian: (lights of home)
Fandom: Supernatural
Title: The Lights of Home
Author: Maychorian
Characters: Sam, Dean, Castiel, John
Category: Gen, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Casefile, Big Bang
Rating: R/M
Warning: (skip) Sexual abuse of a child, minors in peril, imagery, violence, language Details here.
Spoilers: Through Season 4 in general
Summary: There are some memories that Dean doesn't want to remember, and some things that he hopes Sam has forgotten. But when Castiel calls the Winchesters to protect a seal in a small Indiana town where they once lived with their father, everything comes back. Sometimes even a sun-soaked childhood summer has shadows lurking underneath.
Word Count: ~31,000
Disclaimer: Tragically, they continue to not belong to me. :(

Prologue & Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 & Epilogue | Warnings & Notes

Soundtrack & Picspam

Art by [ profile] millylicious

maychorian: (NaNoWriMo)
Working on polishing my Big Bang. Going slower than I want it to. I've been having kind of a bad week. Well, weeks. Months, really. Argh. But it has divisions now, and I've started getting rid of all my habitual unnecessary words like "though" and "then" and "little." Listening to my soundtrack, too, enjoying it. Still one more scene I need to write.

Anyway. Not many things feel better than beating Knights of Cydonia on Hard in Guitar Hero. Though I didn't do my tendinitis any favors with that little stunt. I've been playing DDR again, too. Sweated a lot.

And say, I haven't shared the video in a while. It's still just as awesome as last time.

maychorian: (Yay Dean!)
Okay, so here's just a taste of what my Big Bang fic will be like. Did I mention that parts of it are Weechester? Yeah, that's all the spoiler this is. (And OMG, how could I resist a band called The Hoosiers for a fic set in Indiana????)

ETA: Drat. You have to sign into imeem to actually listen to more than 30-second clips of these. Oh well. Three weeks! \o/
maychorian: (Piano Hero)
I have weirdly elaborate plans for the soundtrack I put together to go with my Big Bang. I suspect that I may be winding myself up for no reason. (And still weeks away from my June 30 post date, too!)

But then, I actually WORKED for this mix, didn't just stick together whatever struck me as fitting from my own library, like I did with "Should've Known Better," or gotten the majority from readers, like the Entertaining Angels soundtrack. I spent hours...researching. Yes, researching, for a soundtrack. Looking up lists of the kind of music I wanted to use, listening to songs on YouTube, tracking down legal copies to download, pawing through the catalogs of AC/DC and Creedence Clearwater Revival...

Tell me I'm not putting too much effort into this?

But I'm really happy with the result. Like, really really happy. I'm so excited to share it with you guys. I don't want to wait three weeks!


I'm tempted to at least post a track list, but even that would be spoilery for the story.
maychorian: (should've known better)
Part 6 & Epilogue )
maychorian: (Sam Dean reach out)
Part 5 )
maychorian: (Detective Cas)
Part 4 )
maychorian: (Papa John)
Part 3 )
maychorian: (Yay Dean!)
Part 2 )
maychorian: (couldn't do it anymore)
These notes contain spoilers for the story. If you don't have triggers, I recommend you simply read the story and take it as it is. I promise that the subject matter is handled with sensitivity. Come back and read the notes later. :)

Warning: This story deals with the sexual abuse of a child. While the incidents happen "off-screen" and before the story takes place, they are discussed in some detail, particularly in a rather vivid flashback. If you have triggers relating to this, there are a few scenes you might want to skip, or just avoid the story altogether.

The first scene is in Part 2, beginning with "It was the P.E. teacher." and ending with "It felt like there was nothing else to do." (That's an entire section.) The second scene is in Part 3, beginning with "Dean lay awake, staring at the ceiling." and ending with "Why hadn't he fought?" (The rest of that section deals with the issue more abstractly.) There's also a rather frank discussion in Part 6, beginning with "About Coach Peters..." and ending with "Both of us." at the end of that section.

Notes: They say to write what you know, and this story was just one big exercise in that, really. The town of "Woodlan" is where I grew up, and all of the locations are real. (See the soundtrack page for pictures of my little town. It's lovely and I love it and you should too.) Many of the childhood scenes were also taken from summers I have spent here, and writing them was something of a visceral experience for me. I kept remembering more things, finding more sights and sounds and smells that I wanted to share. My hope is that readers who finish this story will come away with a greater appreciation for small-town life and the value of childhood.

The church I chose to make Jimmy a member of is real. It is The Apostolic Christian Church of America, and it is the church I grew up in and am still a member of. It is small and conservative and very loving, and while I am struggling now with my own theology and where I want to be and belong, that is no reflection on the church. It's a wonderful place and I was privileged to grow and learn there.

I am also very familiar with childhood sexual abuse and its long-term effects. Dean's story in this fic is, basically, my own, with a few details changed. It was a foster boy, the incidents took place in my home over the course of a summer (the summer of 1990, to be exact), and I was seven. Sam's line to Dean that finally gets through to him, "Any is severely," is what my good friend Aaron said to me when I was suffering a bout of severe depression in my junior year of college. I was in denial about the pain I was in, insisting that what had happened to me was no big deal and shouldn't bother me anymore and I didn't need help, I should just get over it. But those words stopped me in my tracks.

Any is severely.

If you are suffering, you deserve to be helped. It doesn't matter how small or insignificant the triggering event might seem, how mild in comparison to what other people have gone through. If it's bothering you then it's a wound that needs to be healed. Give yourself permission to hurt, permission to cry, and permission to lean on others. It's what we're here for.

Many thanks to my alpha readers, [ profile] tahirire, [ profile] chocochip_pie, [ profile] amoralambiguity, and [ profile] jedishadowolf. And especially [ profile] just_ruth, who questioned my characterization and plot points and made the story better for just being there. ♥ They all held my hand and loved me as I wrote some very difficult scenes.

Also big, BIG thanks to [ profile] echo_grace_07 for an extremely last minute beta. You are awesome, bb. ♥

Mucho love and thanks also to [ profile] millylicious, who is amazing. Make sure you tell her how awesome her art is! It was fun being Big Bang first-timers together with you. ::MWAH::
maychorian: (Wee Sam)
Well, since everyone is other people are doing it, I might as well post my BB summary, too, eh? This was the summary written just for the artist claim post, and the real one is likely to be a bit different, but it will give you some idea of what to expect, I guess.

Author: [ profile] maychorian
Artist: [ profile] millylicious
Title: The Lights of Home
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Castiel calls on the Winchesters to protect a seal in a small Midwest town where they once lived for a summer. This brings back many pleasant memories for the boys, but also some very unpleasant ones for Dean. About half of the story is in flashback, much of it in John's POV. It is very much a tribute to my own childhood home, with plenty of nostalgic imagery for an artist to play around with.

And...a line of warnings got left off that claim post, so I leave them off here, too. I think it's better to be surprised, anyway, as long as you trust the writer. Warnings can have too many story spoilers in them. I plan to post them in a separate page when the time comes, so people who genuinely do have squicks can avoid the story if they want.

Looking at the summary now, it seems kind of cliche and done to me. But the point, this time, wasn't to have an amazing, original plot, but to capture the feel of my childhood, though translated through the viewpoint and history of the Winchesters. And that, I think, was a success. We'll have to see what you guys think when June rolls around.

(Also, I have been editing, and I use the word "little" TOO MUCH.)


Apr. 30th, 2009 05:18 pm
maychorian: (Dean's Diary)
I did it I did it I did it I did it I did it I did it I did it I DID IT.

The last ten thousand words or so are kind of rough and I might be expanding some scenes later and I'm kinda worried about the pacing, but I wrote THE END and it felt good, it was finished.

maychorian: (Piano Hero)
1. My brothers, Andrew and Philip, had a piano recital yesterday. They're both getting really good, especially Andrew. At the last recital Andrew played something by Ben Folds, I think maybe "The Luckiest"? He loves Ben Folds, always looking for new sheet music online or at the library to play. This time he played "Nocturne" by Billy Joel, and wow, it sounded great. It made me all nostalgic for when I was taking lessons and playing in recitals and performance classes. ::sigh:: I may be digging out my old piano books sometime soon.

2. No more jobs today, until my evening get-together with friends, so BIG BANG. The next scene is pretty much written in my head, so I just need to get it out. That makes things better.

3. I was a lucky, lucky Maychorian and won two fic illustrations from [ profile] chocca2 in Sweet Charity. She just finished the first one, for Painted Dreams of Red and Yellow, and it's gorgeous. Check it:

cut for being so big and beautiful )

4. I am listening to the soundtrack from Muppet Treasure Island right now. THIS IS AWESOME.
maychorian: (Yay Dean!)

20044 / 20000 words. 100% done!

This means that I have written somewhere in the vicinity of three thousand words today, despite also working for 7.5 hours (including walking something like four and a half miles while pushing someone in a wheelchair, so lemme tell ya, MAY IS TIRED.)

This is a good day.

Now I just need to finish the story...
maychorian: (NaNoWriMo)
I have been going back and reading all of my flisties' reactions to 4.19. (And I had to skip back 120! WTF? When did my flist get so big and so talkative? O.O) But anyway, I find them all faaaascinating, for reasons that my Big Bang betas will know. I didn't take the time to comment on anybody, but I just want to let you all know that you are amazing and I love your thinkinesses. ::group smish::

I NEED TO GET CAUGHT UP ON COMMENTS. More than 500 messages in my inbox. How did that happen? ::dies:: As soon as I finish Big Bang, I swear.

Because YES, I have finally gotten back into writing my BB. I was having some sort of mental block about it, I don't know. I was up to about seventeen thousand words a month and a half ago, and then I just sort of let it drop. Got distracted or busy or scared of what was coming next, I don't know. But I really need to get myself in gear now. It's hard, but I'm trying to make myself NOT go out and research every random question that occurs to me. And I'm also having to deny my compulsion to reread everything I write a dozen million times. It's part of what made me a good proofreader, but it's not useful right now. And yeah, I'm still afraid of failing, but I need to put on my big girl panties and get on with it. (A phrase that someone once used to sneer at me and tell me to get over being molested as a child and STOP BEING OFFENDED BY RAPE JOKES YOU HUMORLESS TWAT OMG. [paraphrased] And yeah, I was so done with that conversation then. It's still a good phrase, though.) But anyway. Onward and upward.

Oh, and I remembered something this morning. A long time ago someone private messaged me and asked me to beta for them, and I never answered, which I feel bad about. (And now I can't remember who it was and yeah, buried in the inbox.) I kept meaning to reply, but couldn't quite figure out how to say it or something. Cuz, see, I really don't think people should trust me as a beta. I've tried to do it in the past and failed completely at being responsible and all that stuff. I'm a good proofreader, yeah, but somehow I seem to freeze up when given someone's story. I don't know. So I'm sorry, I really do appreciate that you think I'd be a good beta, but I just don't trust myself to do it regularly. I can do it on occasion for a friend, when it's a one-off and something that I know I'd be good at, like a crossover where I'm familiar with both canons. But just...yeah. Don't trust me. I'm sorry.

And now, back to the story. I'm finally making some headway and I really need to keep up the momentum. Giving myself pep talks helps. One thing I keep telling myself is just how good it's going to feel to be finished, to not have this hanging over me anymore. A least three of my flisties have announced their victory over the 20,000 words in the past week, and it makes me awfully jealous. I just have to keep telling myself not to get bogged down. (NO, MAY, YOU DO NOT NEED TO KNOW WHICH WILDFLOWERS BLOOM IN AUGUST IN A CERTAIN MIDWEST STATE. CHECK IT LATER.)


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