Just the Beast Under Your Bed

Fandom: Supernatural
Title: Just the Beast Under Your Bed
Author: Maychorian
Characters: Sam, Dean
Category: Gen, Angst
Rating: PG/K+
Spoilers: Season 4 in general, takes place between 4.08 and 4.09
Summary: "You remember how, after you got me from Stanford, for awhile I tried just not sleeping?"
Word Count: 546
Disclaimer: Pretty sure they’re not mine.
Author’s Note: For cadencecascade. Prompt word was "surprise." A somewhat pointless snippet, written, of course, while I couldn't sleep. Title from "Enter Sandman" by Metallica.

( Just the Beast Under Your Bed )

Well, Peachy.

So apparently I have depression. Which I guess I kinda knew, but I also sort of figured that it was normal, after being fired from your job with a whole lot of cause, to lose interest in food and social activities and everything, really. Maybe it isn't, though? Also social anxiety and some ADD, which was more of a surprise, but it sure explains a lot. So now I have a prescription for anti-depressants which I need to go fill. Is it weird that this sort of depresses me, too? I've always been so wary of drugs. And I guess I've sort of always bought into the American idea that you should suck it up, pull yourself up by the bootstraps and just carry on, hide your weaknesses and they'll go away.

They also said that I should probably get some therapy. Again.

I've always been such a guarded person. I'm very good at controlling myself, very good at repressing and faking. The thought of opening up to a stranger, again, after I thought I was done with this four years ago... Well, that sort of depresses me, too.

But any help is good help, at this point. I want to have a life. It's hard to see a way out right now, but I want to believe that it exists, somewhere, somehow.