maychorian | Farewell, Astara (Reply)

I've been putting off posting this, but time enough now, huh? My dear Astara, the best pet mouse I have ever had, and that any has ever had, passed away June 21 sometime in the small hours of the morning. If I remember correctly, she was born April 11, 2006, so she was two years, two months, and ten days old. Good run for a mouse, really, since they mostly only get one or two years. Certainly I have lost many, many other mice at much younger ages.

When Astara was a week old, her mother (who was a wild pet store mouse my family was keeping at the time to feed to our snake) escaped from the cage and never returned. I bought some puppy replacement milk and fed Astara and her three surviving sisters by hand. It was exhausting, but very rewarding--those girls became the sweetest and tamest pet mice there ever were. All three sisters are long gone now, but Astara stayed with me.

Astara loved being held. When she saw me, she would climb to the highest point in her cage and stretch up on her hind legs, waiting for me to reach in and pick her up. She fell asleep in my hand or on my shoulder more times than I can count. She even "groomed" me, at times, licking with her little dry tongue, and most of the time, she was bruxing. (Mice and rats grind their teeth together when they're content and happy--it's a lot like purring.) She was a snuggler, that's for sure.

I miss her so much.

The worst part is that she might even have lived a little longer. On Friday night, as was often the case, I was sitting on my couch, holding Astara, my laptop in my lap as I watched a video. Astara was exploring, climbing up and down my arms, and she crossed the laptop's keyboard. She had walked across it many times before, of course, but this one time, the lid, already bent at an angle, somehow was jostled, and the heavy thing fell down on her. My poor little mouse was squished by my laptop. And that's what killed her, though it took some time for her to finally go (I stayed up holding her until the end). I know it sounds kind of funny, but I'm starting to cry just thinking about it. I can't even describe how depressed I was, and how guilty I still feel about it. Who knows how much longer she might have had, if it wasn't for my stupid, stupid laptop. I feel tragic and sort of emo about it all. Sorry.

Well, at least I have some videos and pictures, from the brief time when I had a working digital camera. (It broke after, like, a month, and I haven't gotten it fixed yet.) Astara also has several descendants, most of whom are almost as sweet as she was. Among them: Cornelius, Diamond, Emil, Snowdrop, Cookie, and Arabesque.

I've been thinking about getting a rat sometime. They live longer and are somewhat more durable. And I'm definitely a rodent person. (Sort of funny, when I always thought that I would be a cat lady.)

It also sucked that this happened just a week before my birthday. I spent the whole week very depressed, and even took a sick day on Monday because I honestly didn't feel well. A battered heart will do that to you, I suppose.