maychorian (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
maychorian) wrote2008-10-25 10:32 am
maychorian) wrote2008-10-25 10:32 am
Entry tags:
I Like Gen Cuddles and I Cannot Lie
I have at least two JacknDean fics living in my head right now, one before John shows up and one after, and perhaps I will get them out today or tomorrow. But first, here's some very self-indulgent ruminations on my own fanfic writing and h/c kink. It's, ummmm, probably not really worth reading, at all. I just felt like writing it, because it's been on my mind lately.
I used to be embarrassed by how much I liked hurt/comfort fics. Like, really embarrassed, couldn't say why, but I always read them sort of guiltily. I didn't mind people knowing that I read and wrote fanfic, but I didn't want them to know that I read THOSE ones. Perhaps because of the associations with ridiculous scenarios and the healing power of sex, I dunno, though I never read those kind. Always gen for me, from the beginning of my fannish experience. Even from the beginning I preferred my h/c to be in character as much as possible, but I still read horrible, badly written stuff just because I needed my fix.
At this point, I've come to accept that this is just the way I am. I like gen cuddles and I cannot lie. And yet the other thing I demand from fanfic (besides basic grammar and that sort of thing) is good characterization. And so often these two desires are contradictory. ::sigh:: It makes me kind of nuts. Of course, I write it now, too, though I always try to keep it as in character as possible. Yet every time I finish a more blatantly h/c fic, I wonder if I was twisting the characters to fit my kink and feel all guilty for it. Every time I write, I have to reconcile this for myself, and I don't think I succeed every time.
It's easier just to give in and enjoy it for what it is, so I do that too. And I've recently realized that there is a specific kind of gen cuddles that I really, really like. I'm laughing while typing this, because it seems sort of silly. I can't believe it took me this long to notice this about myself.
I really, really like it when characters fall asleep while leaning/laying on each other. :D
See, I told you it was silly, right?
I think maybe there's something about the utter trust in that situation, the sleeping character just completely trusting the other one to be on the look out/take care of them/not draw on their faces with permanent marker, whatever. Maybe because I have a really hard time falling asleep while other people are around, so if I do it, I know that I'm utterly comfortable. And maybe it's just because I think Dean/Daniel/Obi-Wan looks really cute asleep.
I mean, for pity's sake, I've only been writing Supernatural fic for a couple of months and I already have four stories with Dean sleeping against someone else. You just watch, sooner or later I'm going to invent a situation in which it seems perfectly in character for Dean to fall asleep on Jack's shoulder. ::is rather weirded out at the thought:: My old SW fics are full of both Obi-Wan and OCs sleeping on people, and it's a mere fluke that I haven't written an SG-1 fic yet that includes this. Probably because I haven't written any real h/c for SG-1 yet, just angst and humor pieces.
I went through my profile at ff.n and made a list:
Frank and Joe
Dust Between
Kings for a Little Time
Clarity
Memory's Betrayal
Familiar Strangers (TWICE!)
Mysteries
The Unchosen (Oh, man, who knows how many times it happens in this one. A whole, whole lot.)
Nor the Moon by Night
Candles Against the Sea (More than once, both Obi and my little OC.)
Priorities
The Other Side of Infinity
That's twelve out of thirty-nine stories. Wow, I have it bad. I'm such a goose.
So, yeah. That's enough self-meta for one day. O.O
I used to be embarrassed by how much I liked hurt/comfort fics. Like, really embarrassed, couldn't say why, but I always read them sort of guiltily. I didn't mind people knowing that I read and wrote fanfic, but I didn't want them to know that I read THOSE ones. Perhaps because of the associations with ridiculous scenarios and the healing power of sex, I dunno, though I never read those kind. Always gen for me, from the beginning of my fannish experience. Even from the beginning I preferred my h/c to be in character as much as possible, but I still read horrible, badly written stuff just because I needed my fix.
At this point, I've come to accept that this is just the way I am. I like gen cuddles and I cannot lie. And yet the other thing I demand from fanfic (besides basic grammar and that sort of thing) is good characterization. And so often these two desires are contradictory. ::sigh:: It makes me kind of nuts. Of course, I write it now, too, though I always try to keep it as in character as possible. Yet every time I finish a more blatantly h/c fic, I wonder if I was twisting the characters to fit my kink and feel all guilty for it. Every time I write, I have to reconcile this for myself, and I don't think I succeed every time.
It's easier just to give in and enjoy it for what it is, so I do that too. And I've recently realized that there is a specific kind of gen cuddles that I really, really like. I'm laughing while typing this, because it seems sort of silly. I can't believe it took me this long to notice this about myself.
I really, really like it when characters fall asleep while leaning/laying on each other. :D
See, I told you it was silly, right?
I think maybe there's something about the utter trust in that situation, the sleeping character just completely trusting the other one to be on the look out/take care of them/not draw on their faces with permanent marker, whatever. Maybe because I have a really hard time falling asleep while other people are around, so if I do it, I know that I'm utterly comfortable. And maybe it's just because I think Dean/Daniel/Obi-Wan looks really cute asleep.
I mean, for pity's sake, I've only been writing Supernatural fic for a couple of months and I already have four stories with Dean sleeping against someone else. You just watch, sooner or later I'm going to invent a situation in which it seems perfectly in character for Dean to fall asleep on Jack's shoulder. ::is rather weirded out at the thought:: My old SW fics are full of both Obi-Wan and OCs sleeping on people, and it's a mere fluke that I haven't written an SG-1 fic yet that includes this. Probably because I haven't written any real h/c for SG-1 yet, just angst and humor pieces.
I went through my profile at ff.n and made a list:
Frank and Joe
Dust Between
Kings for a Little Time
Clarity
Memory's Betrayal
Familiar Strangers (TWICE!)
Mysteries
The Unchosen (Oh, man, who knows how many times it happens in this one. A whole, whole lot.)
Nor the Moon by Night
Candles Against the Sea (More than once, both Obi and my little OC.)
Priorities
The Other Side of Infinity
That's twelve out of thirty-nine stories. Wow, I have it bad. I'm such a goose.
So, yeah. That's enough self-meta for one day. O.O