I was going to write about how bad it feels to be looked down on as white trash at your cousin's wedding by your cousin's future in-laws, but screw that. I have pudding again and it is GLORIOUS.
Ever since I started changing my diet to accommodate my hypoglycemia, one of my highest priorities has been figuring out how to have healthy sweets. I have always been a big fan of pudding, and this has never been a secret. In my first blog, on xanga, I listed making pudding in my expertise. Both my YouTube account and my Twitter account include "consumer of pudding" in my self-description. Mmm, pudding. I love it. I love it so much. You really can't overstate just how much I love pudding. It would be very difficult.
Now, you can make sugar-free, flour-free pudding. I've done it. I've done stirred puddings and custards, with and without cornstarch; you can use xanthan gum or guar gum instead, though the texture does leave something to be desired. I've made pies with instant sugar-free mixes, even though they always contain aspartame, which I hate and which hates me. (Aspartame + me = headaches, tummy aches, unhappiness.) It's time-consuming, though, and then you have to wait for it to cool, and it's a hassle, and I don't eat it all and it goes bad, etc.
So then someone in my family bought these single-serving sugar-free Swiss Miss puddings. They were tasty, but they had sucralose (Splenda) which I'm also sensitive to. So I only ate, like, three of those. Oh, shut up. Like I could stay away from pudding. Even pudding that I know will give me headaches. But then. BUT THEN.
Jell-O. Apparently there have been great strides in the science of sugar-free pudding recently, and Jell-O has found the perfect formula to suit this particular hypoglycemic pudding lover. NNNNGH, JELL-O. I LOVE YOU SO.
Their main sweetener is xylitol, which doesn't bother me. It does have some sucralose, but only in trace amounts, so eating one or two a day after a meal seems to be fine. THEIR FLAVORS ARE SO YUMMY. Omg. Omg, you guys. Jell-O sugar-free Boston Cream Pie pudding snacks. I DARE YOU NOT TO LIKE IT.
So I've been buying a lot of pudding. I take them in my lunches to work and they are a highlight of my day. But my family. They like them too. They eat them.
Monday, right. On my way back from playing RPG with my friends (we did Star Wars Saga Edition that night, Josh DMed, I played a Jedi named Naeji Dwill, it was awesome), I stopped at Wal-Mart. I bought two six-packs of pudding. One of them was Boston Cream Pie, which I hadn't tried before. I ate one before going to bed and it was
Uh. Maze. Ing.
The next morning I got up to pack my lunch, and only two were left. TWO. So I hid one and took the other.
LE GASP. MY FAMILY HAS ALSO DISCOOVERED TEH SECRET OF TEH PUDDING.
Dash it all.
This summer has been particularly strange for my family, because most of my siblings are all but grown up, and yet we live at home. Five out of eight people in this house have day jobs, which means five lunches being packed, five people tired in the evening and unwilling to do chores, etc., etc. Five people competing for my puddings.
Those puddings are MINE.
So today. Again, I stopped at Wal-Mart on the way back from playing geeky games (Arkham Horror this time, and I swear some day we will finish a game). I bought four six-packs of pudding. They are in the bottom crisper drawer of the fridge. I took a piece of paper and wrote on it. I laid it carefully over the top of the puddings in the drawer, so you cannot help but see it, if perchance you open the drawer and reach in with the intention of taking my puddings away.These belong to Laura.
Mom and Dad may have them for free.
Everyone else, 50¢ each.
This is more than fair--less than they cost me.
It felt ever so slightly passive-aggressive. But our schedules are so different that I hardly ever see some of my family, and I want them all to know.
THE PUDDING IS MINE.
I just hope it works.